Where is that patrolling cop when you need him!

Just now I was moving the car for streetcleaning. On the way back to the apartment I encountered this gentlemen who was what the kids might call "in your face."

Man: You want some drama?
Me: What?
Man: You want some drama?!!
Me: Uh, no.
Man: I'll fucking drop your ass, you fucking piece of shit. Motherf**cker!!
Me: No, thank you.

This is where it got awkward. We walked together to the corner of 7th and Folsom, and the light was red. So he had extra time to antagonize me.

Man: I'll beat your ass, motherf**cker! You piece of shit. Etc, etc.
Me: Thanks, I'm OK.

Luckily, the light changed and I was able to move away from him before he brought the much-anticipated "drama."

Just as Surly as East Coast Cops!

San Francisco and other West Coast cities -- unlike, say, New York or 1840s Paris -- don't have many cops walking the beat on foot. But a new program to curb crime in our neighborhood, South of Market, could change that.

I've already had a few sightings. Last week I spotted a uniformed cop walking through our alleyway -- not investigating anything, just walking around. At first I assumed he was a male stripper, but he didn't have a little boombox with him and his pants didn't appear to be breakaway trousers.

Then last night, Kelly and I were walking home from the gym when we came across another uniformed cop on foot patrol. Kelly was excited so she shouted "good night" as a greeting ("good evening" would have more appropriate, I think, since he wasn't wearing slippers and a sleeping cap). He replied tersely, "Same to you!" He seemed a little brusque to me, but maybe he resented being assigned to the "step-over-homeless-people-and-their-vomit" beat.

'Along the Way'

This 1968 instructional video about the future of "BART" is a real hoot. It's worth watching for the John Denver-style opening song alone. I also like how they play up the fact that the BART cars will be carpeted. (They're tearing out these carpets right now, because they decided having carpets in heavily trafficked trains was stupid.)

Play Details

It looks like the performance dates for "Vial" in San Francisco are all set.

There will be four shows, all in the Eureka Theater at 215 Jackson Street:

Thursday, March 1: 8 p.m.
Friday, March 2: 8 p.m.
Saturday, March 3: 8 p.m.
Sunday, March 4: 8 p.m.

Here's the Web site for more details.

I invite all of BuboBlog's readers to attend! [You mean both of them? -ed.]

Chuman Fever, Catch It

This morning I was awoken by an emergency text message from BuboBlog correspondent "Big Guy": Michael Crichton has jumped into the Chuman publicity campaign.

Today's New York Times has a review of a book he wrote called "Next" that includes a Chuman character. It sounds like an interesting premise: a 4-year-old boy has "excessive hairiness and a talent for climbing trees," attributed to a disease called Gandler-Kreukheim. But it turns out he's actually a Humanzee! OK, so it sounds like Crichton doesn't exactly *endorse* chumans, but at least he's raising consciousness. Seems to me this is far better than claiming global warming doesn't exist.

Ghostridin' to Fremont

Kudos to BuboBlog correspondent Dan for this clip, which is pretty much the best thing I've ever seen.

(However, it doesn't appear that the car is really going all the way to Fremont -- or even leaving the one dead-end street.)

Chuman Update

Slate has officially joined the Chuman debate, discussing the possibility of human-chimp breeding in its Explainer column.

I found this part especially interesting. Has anyone heard the thing about Stalin before?

Neanderthals weren't our ancestors' only dalliance with other primates. "Pre-humans" and "pre-chimpanzees" interbred and gave birth to hybrids millions of years ago. In the 1920s, Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin sent an animal-breeding expert to Africa in hopes of creating an army of half-man, half-monkey soldiers. Attempts both to inseminate women with monkey sperm and impregnate female chimpanzees with human sperm failed.

Maybe Stalin wasn't so bad after all!

Getting Fried at the Chipshop

I'd heard about this place in Brooklyn called the Chipshop that deep-fries all sorts of things (thanks to BuboBlog Correspondent Anh-Minh for the tip). When I found out the place was near my brother's "Crooklyn" abode, I figured we should definitely check it out.

Anyway, so we went last night. I can now say that certain things were never meant to be deep-fried. For instance, we had the deep-fried pizza. I thought it would have the deliciousness of pizza times 10. But it actually was just this bland
breaded thing, with just the hint of pizza flavor. The fish and chips were also kind of bland, but that's how they are in the U.K. You have to dip them in the tartar sauce to liven them up.

The best part, by far, was the dessert. We had deep-fried Snickers and deep-fried Reese's Peanut Butter cups. They were dusted in powdered sugar and delicious. I would have liked them a la mode, but maybe it was better that there were no distractions.

Pictured (via my ultrasharp cellphone camera): Max eating the deep-fried pizza.

BUI?

I'm trying to keep up with Yae Area news. What's with this guy who got charged with a DUI (BUI?) while on his bicycle? Did anyone know this could happen?

What if he were on a skateboard? Or a pogo stick?

Don't they realize that if they criminalize drunk bicycling, only criminals will bicycle drunk? (And they might hit our cars.)

'Vial' Update

Good news: It looks like my play "Vial" may finally get a run in San Francisco.

I've just been told it was selected for the annual Bay One-Acts Festival, to be held Feb. 15 through March 4. I don't know the details yet, but it should be fun to see it performed locally.

It being San Francisco, I'd like to see them "gay it up" a bit.

New York Life

Sorry I haven't been good about posting lately. I'm still kicking it old school here in New York (if "kicking it old school" means watching pay-per-view in my hotel room).

Kelly came to visit me last weekend, which was nice. We saw a Broadway show called "Avenue Q" (the puppets were great; we both thought the human characters were lame) and ate pretzels off the street (not literally off the street, though hers did have an unidentified dark smudge on it).

Vote for SAMEBODY part 4

I'm in New York this week, so I wasn't able to drum up support for Viliam's campaign. Sadly, it looks like he only has 2.4% of the vote so far.

Vote for SAMEBODY part 3

Holy crap, our buddy Viliam has hit the big time! (By big time, I mean he was featured on the SFist blog.) I have to say, his flyer looks awesome.

'The Prestige' vs. 'The Illusionist'

We haven't seen too many movies this year, which makes it odd that we've already seen two movies about magicians set in late-Victorian Europe: "The Illusionist" and, on Tuesday night, "The Prestige". What the heck?

The thing is, I liked both these films. But if you only see one, see "The Prestige." It was awesome. I'm unclear as to why the critics aren't too crazy about this movie. I guess you could argue that one or both of the main characters is insufficiently motivated. But I think critics missed the message of the movie, which is that being a kick-ass magician is worth destroying your life and marriage. I'm going to run this idea by Kelly now.

A Bargain!

This is why I love working out at 24 Fitness: They have such great deals. Like this current special, where they let you lose *up to* 15 pounds in six weeks for $49.

Really? I can lose *up to* 15 pounds? So like, it could be zero pounds? Can you guarantee that?

Party Foul

Well, it looks like the days might be numbered for San Francisco's Halloween street party in the Castro. Castro residents were already whining about the party messing up their neighborhood, which is why they decided to end this year's bash at 10:30 p.m. But since nine people were shot last night, that might be the final nail in the party's coffin [is that a mixed metaphor? -ed.].

The good news is, none of the shooting victims were killed. In fact, only two were immediately taken to the hospital (though a couple other people took themselves to the hospital later). How do you shoot nine people and get that kind of result? It's like the JFK Assassination in reverse.

Anyway, we were not at the party this year. However, I did tempt fate by dressing up as 2Pac on Friday. Now that's a costume that people would be tempted to shoot at! But aside from some funny looks in the Mission as I was purchasing Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor, I was unmolested.